Saturday, October 22, 2011

Ghost Lake - Pee Before You Go In

Last night my husband, some friends, and I went to Ghost Lake, the largest Halloween attraction in Pennsylvania! at Conneaut Lake Park. Conneaut Lake Park is spooky enough itself when it's not all done up for Halloween. From what I understand, in the 70s and 80s it was pretty much the coolest amusement park known to man, but, through a series of unfortunate events, it fell into disrepair. There are broken down rides and boarded-up midway buildings strewn about between rides and attractions that are very much up and running. It also features a "Kiddieland" containing clown head decor that even in the light of day is almost enough to make one wet one's pants with terror. So basically, it's the perfect place for this sort of thing.

Conneaut Lake Park is also unique in that it's not just a park, it's a town. As you wander the streets, you are wandering the streets of an actual town with actual houses where actual people live. And, as in many towns, there are houses which have fallen into disrepair. This is where many of Ghost Lake's 9 Levels of Terror are set. You'll need to allow about an hour and a half to get through all of them. Dress warm. Wear sensible shoes. Pee before you go in. The nine attractions are scattered throughout the park. You'll get a ticket at the door with the attractions listed on it. Hang onto it because you'll have to get it punched or marked at each attraction.

The 9 Levels of Fear are:
  • Grim's Funeral Home
  • The House of Evil
  • The Haunted Hotel Conneaut
  • Terror Down Below
  • Last House of the Left
  • Maze of Madness
  • Creatures in the Fog
  • Vortex of Fear 
  • The Blue Streak Ghoster Coaster
Grim's Funeral Home and the House of Evil are two of the attractions that are set in actual houses. They were spooky. Pretty standard haunted house fare. Thrills, chills, that sort of thing. The Haunted Hotel Conneaut was of course set in the reportedly haunted Hotel Conneaut, a building with a rich and storied history of being creepy as hell. Terror Down Below was my favorite for two reasons: 1) It reminded me of Scooby Doo and 2) it was the first time that night that I was actually really scared. I don't want to ruin the effect but I can say that for a few seconds I actually really thought I was going to die. It was awesome. The Last House on the Left was another haunted house, as I'm sure you could guess from the name. The scariest thing about the Maze of Madness was that it contained dubstep. Creatures of the Fog and the Vortex of Fear were both scary. The Blue Streak was closed when we were there because it was raining, so instead we got to choose between the Devil's Den, a classic dark ride, and Karney Land, the bumper cars that were somehow transformed into spooky bumper cars. Both of them are open every night of Ghost Lake for $2 extra. We picked Devil's Den, mainly for the legendary gum wall. Bring gum, and you can stick it to the wall.


So over all, 11 thumbs up. I'd go again if I had the 18 bucks.


Ghost Lake runs Friday and Saturday from 7pm-Midnight and Sunday from 7pm-11pm. It's $20 for adults and $15 for kids 11 and under (though I would not take very young and/or very sensitive children. My four year old would have had a panic attack. But she's afraid of  automatic flushing toilets. Be realistic about your kid's sensitivity level.) $2 off coupons are available at any Country Fair. Also, Conneaut Lake Park contains 2 bars, so if that's your thing there it is. Go. Have fun. It's totally not disappointing.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

In which I offend everyone on the whole internet because I am a horrible human being.

I probably should just write about my life and the stuff I do, right? Anything else would just be silly. For me. No offense to anyone else who has a blog about something else. Oh God, I've done it again. This is horrible. I always offend everyone! This must be why I don't have any friends.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I Expected This To Be Awesomer

I'm suffering from new blog anxiety. I maintain this is normal. It must be, right? I can't possibly be the only person in the world who thought it would be so very cool to start a blog only to realize they were incredibly boring and had absolutely nothing to offer. Perhaps that's an overstatement, but I'm really having trouble seeing how I could possibly write anything anyone would actually want to read. I don't have any particular expertise or insight, and I'm not that funny.

Perhaps this is the same sort of anxiety that comes with any sort of new endeavor, particularly one that for some reason I hoped would be totally awesome. Am I alone in this? Do other people feel this way or is it actually just me? I have stuff to say a lot. I'm sure this thing will pick up, right?

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Not this again

I'm not really sure what, exactly, I aim to blog about, really. All I know for sure is that I find myself obsessing over certain ideas sometimes and releasing my thoughts to the internet seems at least slightly more productive than pacing around my apartment cracking my knuckles and cursing the decline of civilization, because up until now that has been how I spend the majority of my time.

I started this blog a couple of years ago now as a place to house the weirdest ideas I could possibly come up with, but I quickly abandoned that plan because my life got weirder than anything I could possibly imagine. I deleted every post. They were hitting a little too close to home. I then started this blog again as a place to store the things that were too long/embarrassing to post as facebook status updates. Those got deleted too. They were embarrassing. So here I am again. Maybe my little blog will make it this time. That would be pretty cool.